Sunday, March 8, 2009

Bubbling Springs


My mind had gone completely blank. Why couldn't I think of anything to say? An hour earlier I was prepared. I knew exactly what I was going to say, but then they never asked. Now I couldn't think of a thing to say! It seemed as if someone had siphoned out my brain and left a big void in its place. I had nothing!

"Umm...sure," I said. "Dear Lord...umm...we love You, Lord and umm..."

Just then I became intensely aware of a bubbling inside. It started small, deep deep inside. It made its way up through my esophagus with increasingly larger bubbles, while steadily rising. Then, as if a dam had burst, it spewed eloquently out of my mouth. My mind kept on thinking and listening as my mouth formed and spoke out words, words that came from deep inside my belly, not from my mind!

I was immediately shocked and perplexed. What was I saying? What was happening to me?

Meanwhile the words just kept coming like a well-rehearsed play in which I was an observer, watching from the sidelines. This went on for a minute or so, and finally an "amen" filled the air, and an awkward silence followed. I slowly lifted my head and looked around the table, then down. I could feel them all looking at me...some with surprise, others with discomfort.

Later while cleaning up the kitchen, my mother innocently asked if I had memorized that prayer beforehand. I can't even describe for you how excited I was. In the 20 minutes since it happened, I could barely contain myself, but I didn't think anyone would understand. I wasn't sure I understood it! Now that she had asked, I couldn't hold it back!

"No, Mom! It just came out -- it wasn't me -- I'm not sure what happened -- the words -- they just bubbled up." Realizing I was ranting, I finally managed, "I think it was God speaking through me to all of you!" My mother just looked at me as we continued working. Nothing more was said at that time. However, that weekend was one I shall never forget. There were so many "God" moments. My mother watched me carefully while I was there visiting, and it wasn't a few months later, when she too searched for and found the God I had found.

Thinking back, I'm not sure what my exact words were anymore, but I do know it was AMAZING and it was a message of salvation, delivered at the dinner table in my parents' home. It happened shortly after I had realized there was more to being a christian than attending a church, or joining a club. It was when I realized that God wanted a personal relationship with me! That He loved me unconditionally! That He cared about me! I had discovered a relationship with God and I cherished it. I couldn't wait to go and read the Word of God. I prayed with excitement and thankfulness as I discovered precious nuggets and promises from Scripture. It was an exciting time in my life!

Since then, somehow my relationship with Him had become familiar. It's a familiarity that happens when knowledge creeps in and replaces the joy and child-like faith that was experienced at the first. Knowledge is good, but it should never replace personal experience.

My relationship with Him today is strong, so when you've lost your joy, you've lost something truly precious, unique and needful. So, I began a journey to rediscover that child-like trust that brings joy. I don't believe I was starting over. I think I was taking back something that had been stolen from me.

Has anything been stolen from you lately?

Seek Him with new eyes. Read the Scriptures and ask for guidance, look for the unanswered questions and seek to know the answers. It all makes sense, but you have to look! There's so much more there than you realize if only you'll look and drink deeply!


*In Dutch households they often pray before and after meals. The first prayer is to ask God's blessing on the food. The second is to thank God for His provision.

3 comments:

  1. What a wonderful story, Carmen! I too remember an Easter with an unsaved family and how suddenly I was so excited and explaining and answering their questions.
    I love that joy and I think it comes and goes but if we pray for it back, God will give us those opportunities again.
    Keep waiting with expecation and be ready! You will be bubbling up again soon! Like you did today!
    And as for anything from me? Yes, during these past 18 months, I've experienced times of great sorrow and my joy has slipped and it is a chore to get it back. But I'm determined not to have it robbed from me more than a few hours at a time!

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  2. Well I guess God didn't like that comment because I lost it.

    I sometimes feel compelled to give long blessings like that. However sometimes I don't. This past Sunday I was lost for words so I just said thank you God for this food and this family. My family looked at me strange and asked if I had nothing else to be thankful for. I do but at the moment I didn't feel it.

    I have lost some of that joy too but hope to get it back one day.

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  3. wow!! great post great story i have learned something..very interesting...

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